A Heart Full of Love

My story and your questions

-reads the comments on the latest Versus-

And they say misogyny is dead…

Last night I walked alone in the dark with my music, seeing things out of the corner of my eye and feeling full of energy.

(I felt like I could make fire come out of my hand if I tried hard enough, but it never did.)

Today I danced for the first time in a long while and discovered my body still works, still leaps and kicks and fills the space allotted to me.

(I remember as well why I love dancing. I can be loud, be strong, be a person unapologetic for existing, no longer hiding away. I may only make slow progress on this in everyday life, but in dancing it’s a habit.)

Sometimes the world is grey and filled with white noise and sometimes it is richly coloured and calls with a thousand songs.

librarianwho asked: Are there any books (particularly fiction or poetry) about and by people with autism that you'd recommend?


Oooh, umm librarian question. Books! I have realised writing this post that I don’t actually know of much, so if people can think of other books, please do say! I’ll edit the post to include any new ones.

By autistic people:

  • Loud hands (non-fiction, collection of essays by autistic people)
  • I’m sure there must be fiction written by definitely autistic people, but I can’t think of any.

About autistic people

  • The Millenium trilogy (Girl with the dragon tattoo etc.) Lisbeth Salander is a wonderfully three dimensional autistic character.
  • I have not read the young wizards series by Diane Duane, but I’ve heard very good things.

Dianna Wynne Jones

  • Cat chant is autistic (she explained this in a kind of ableist way, but she did say he is autistic)
  • There is some argument that DWJ herself is autistic, I think (I can’t find the source) that she said at some point that she related very well to a lot of asperger’s traits, and she does “ping” very strongly in her writing. A think a lot of autistic people really love her books, and I would recommend them all.

With regards to poetry, there is a lot on the internet but I can’t actually think of any books.

Books to avoid

  • The curious incident of the dog in the nighttime. It’s awful. It’s a collection of random and badly researched sterotypes about autistic people and the protagonist is portrayed as emotionless.
  • House Rules. It’s just terrible and ableist.

Wait, Cat Chant is autistic? Do you have a source for that?


Okay, I am officially asking for a volunteer, preferably someone moderately familiar with some sort of tabletop system, to read some text for me and see if it makes any sense whatsoever.

Oh gods no I got to AoEs I’m going to cry


The person who wrote this thing I am proofreading has no idea of how to write concise prose (or, indeed, how to use punctuation). It’s making me cry a little; I can’t correct his bad prose without rewriting all 350 pages, and I don’t have the authority to do that.

Also, use Oxford commas, don’t use them, I won’t fight you, but for fuck’s sake be consistent.

The person who wrote this thing I am proofreading has no idea of how to write concise prose (or, indeed, how to use punctuation). It’s making me cry a little; I can’t correct his bad prose without rewriting all 350 pages, and I don’t have the authority to do that.




Here are some tips if you are writing a character who is aromantic or asexual until they meet the right person:
1) Don’t

OK, there’s something I don’t understand here which is that I thought that this was kind of what demisexual/demiromantic was. Can anyone explain the difference?

Signal boosting. I can’t speak for demi people, but I’m interested in hearing what you think.

It is what demisexual and demiromantic are like, but it’s also a really common trope used to discredit asexual and aromantic identities.

So if you really want to write a book with a demisexual character, make them ID as demisexual, or if they don’t know the word and don’t care enough to research then at least make it clear that asexuality is a totally legitimate thing and isn’t by its nature impermanent.

And another thing with the trope given is that it implies that this person has changed the asexual person from being asexual to allosexual, which isn’t what demisexuality is at all, but often is what people think of. (Take note of ‘asexual until they meet the right person’ as opposed to ‘asexual except for this one person’; note the difference in assumption there?)

Anagnori has written more on the subject here.

Do they state an effect size? Because they might be stat. sig. but if the independent variable doesn’t have an effect on the dependent then the results mean nothing. As well as everything else that’s wrong with the study.

I don’t entirely understand the methods used here; they are measuring the strength of people’s heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, and asexuality concurrently, it seems, and also their breadth of sexuality (???).

However, from what I can tell, it seems to be a fairly simple comparison of data between autistic men, autistic women, allistic men, and allistic women. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that those are actually affecting the sexuality of people, obviously, and as far as I can tell there isn’t any controlling for any other possible variables, and argh.

If you want to analyse it further, I can send it to you if you toss me an email.